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What I don't know about Kenya, I can write about it

Italian stupidarium on the African country

23-09-2020 di Freddie del Curatolo

Africa is called "Affrica" with two F.
Kenya is called "Kenya" with an I.
Sometimes it can also be called "Kenya", even if it looks like a disease, which then takes "Kenyan therapy" to heal it.
Maybe "Chenia" is the medical name of the affliction.
Someone has also called it "Kegna" and its people "Kegnoti".
Someone called the women of Kenya "Kegnocche".
In order to get the Maltese you have to go to Kenya at least once.
It is better if you are not accompanied.
In Africa there are some imposing trees that are called "Bau Bau" but do not bark.
What all over the world are sisal fields, in Africa they are pineapple fields.
In Kenya they sell you tropical fruit on the side of the roads and it is incredible because we are not in the Tropics but at the Equator.
In Kenya it is never cold and there is always sunshine, except when it rains.
As soon as you arrive in Kenya everyone says hello to you saying "Jambo" which means hello.
They use this way probably because tourists arrive by plane.
Who knows how they greet those who arrive by boat.
The little evolved Kenyans of Italy only know Bari and every tourist who arrives in their country asks how you are "In Bari".
The capital of Kenya with the I was historically Malindi, but now it seems to have been moved to Watamu.
Almost everyone in Kenya speaks Italian and even those who do not, understand it all too well.
There is also another city quite far away where they say the Kenyans are rich, but you should see them: it is called Nairobi.

Italians in Kenya are called Muzzungu, which means "mozzarella". I once heard a Frenchman also called "muzzungu", which probably also means "camembert".
Kenya wouldn't be Kenya (or vice versa) if it didn't have mud huts, dirt roads, half-naked children smiling, dignified old people getting selfie with you.
Every time they build a concrete house in Kenya, some poetry dies.
The Kenyans are good people, but they were also born to cheat Italians.
I wonder why the Italians come to Kenya, even though they know that they specialize in ripping us off. With the English, the Americans, the Germans, they don't behave like that.
The woodworkers and the woodworkers are also very good at making you fall in love, you may think that they have an ulterior motive but in reality it is the first one. The end.
Kenya is a very expensive country.
In Kenya a litre of extra virgin olive oil costs 15 euros.
In Kenya half a kilo of De Cecco pasta costs 3 euros, the discount store one costs 2 euros.
In Kenya there are also local restaurants where you can eat with 2 euros, meat, rice, vegetables and more, but if you are lucky you can die, otherwise you get infections and diarrhoea.
Kenya is the most corrupt country in the world. If in Kenya you drive your car while talking with your mobile phone to your ear, the traffic police stop you and instead of fining you 50 euros they ask you 5 euros and let you go. In reality they force you to give them the bribe with the story that by law you should go to court and waste a lot of time and then pay the fine anyway.
In Kenya they say they want to eliminate corruption but they can't do it anyway.
It would be better to legalize it, with precise rules and minimum fees that everyone knows about (this is my personal idea).
Kenya is full of endangered animals, so it is better to go on safari to say you have seen them live. The number one rule to go on safari in Kenya is to try to save as much as possible, as the goal is to see the animals, especially the endangered ones.
You can only get to Kenya by plane but it is very expensive. It is much cheaper to go to the Red Sea or Tunisia and it is not clear why. Besides, the Red Sea and Tunisia are much closer.
In Kenya it is better to do nothing. If you want to work, you have to pay. Then maybe if you are good, you earn money. It's absurd!
Our system is much better. First you pretend to earn money, then you get at least sixty percent of your taxes back. The important thing is to be able to make a lot of money.
In Kenya, black is clearly better than Kenyan.
To get to know Kenya it is enough to have a friend (or friend) who has already been on holiday in Kenya.
The condition to trust him, however, is that he has left the holiday village at least once.
The important thing is not to trust the people who live there too much. They pretend to already know everything about this place and become arrogant if you have different opinions.
For example, almost all Italians who have lived in Kenya for many years are racist.
The others are waiting to become racist.


TAGS: sarira kenyaluoghicomuni kenya